Gunshots, Death, Life!

While in South Africa, He was a businessman trying hard to make ends meet. One morning he came running, panting like a dog that just ran a million miles. His eyes were red, his nerves wracking, and his knees shaking, as soon as he showed face when the police officers that came chasing after him shot him dead. My childhood friend was killed!!! The officers later told us He was involved in fake business deals. His business deals suddenly took a toll on him.

A few minutes later, I jolted awake! I was looking so confused and scared. I said a little prayer, and luckily, sleep caught my eyes in a little while after.  The following day I woke up harbouring the burden on my chest. I reached out to the boy’s family since I do not have his contacts, and they confirmed he is okay and flourishing in his life path wherever he is.

Was the burden lifted off my chest after knowing he is well? No. Instead, a heaviness pursued me. The whole time I was at work, I laid my mind in the bed of death. I again threw my mind back to the dream. What if it is a warning? What if he is going to be shot dead in a short while?  I then thought about my friend who recently died suddenly, her dreams that were not fulfilled, the loved ones that were left yearning for a little more of her. I now pointed the arrow at myself. I thought about all the aches in my body. I saw myself dropping dead, and that left smoke cinders of fury in my eyes.

I wallowed in anxiety and scorn, made my bed with the demons that tormented me. My thoughts left an awful taste in my mouth and my brain racing as if it needed to drop out of my head.

Right there, I tapped myself out of that moment, and I refused to remain bound in that hell. I remembered what my father says in the book of Philippians 4:8. Finally, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, and whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things.

I cheered myself up as I climbed up the hill of gratitude. Yes, at that moment, it felt like a hill. I pondered more about the promises of my father. He promised me a long life, Psalms 91 and perfect peace if I glued my mind on him.  His words soothed the ache in my heart.

Do evil thoughts still cloud my mind? I wouldn’t say cloud, but they always come knocking even from the least common scenarios. But I have learned to make Philippians 4;8 my armour of Grace. Whatever contradicts that has remained with no room in my heart, which has left me a genuinely happy girl.

Just like the body needs food, I have also come to master that there is no amount of joy that can surpass focusing my mind on God through meditating on His Word. You see other things like good music, comedy, personal meditation……name it, just microwaved my mind. After a few moments, I found myself as cold as before or even worse. But the word of God pierces all the destructive beliefs and fear out of me and leaves me rolling joyfully like a Royal that I am.