I am Not an Orphan

All good things come to an end, and today is the grand finale of our stories of hope series. I pray the hope exhibited here perches in our souls and sings a great melody in our hearts without ceasing. Be sure to catch all our stories of hope in the previous posts.

Our final guest is the phenomenal, soon to be Mrs Mwesigwa, a woman full of the word of God, a baby whisperer, and a Missional community leader at Worship Harvest Ministries.

Follow her blog, lily721723989.wordpress.com, to draw more from her well of wisdom.

Hands of applause for you, my girl, It is such a pleasure to host you on this blog.

I lost my dad when I was 5yrs old, except for the pictures I had. I didn’t have any memories of him. For some reason, I grew up with the thought that he must have loved me so much. After watching my mum fall sick and deteriorate daily, I lost her when I was 11yrs old, turning 12. Because I was old enough, I remember blaming myself for a while, thinking maybe I hadn’t prayed enough, taken care of her enough, I didn’t believe she was gone, I kept thinking we made a mistake, she wasn’t dead, maybe we buried her alive. I had countless dreams of her after that. At some point, I prayed that God would take them away. Some were so real, and I woke up thinking she’s alive. Then I would wonder if I would ever set my eyes on her. She was born again, yes, but I hadn’t known about the gospel of Grace and thought maybe she might have “sinned” right before she passed on, and so she missed heaven. It took a while and several lessons from Grace, the Power of the Gospel by Andrew Wommack, to believe that I will see her again.

Now I was a total orphan, comments from relatives didn’t make anything better. Some would look at us (I have a twin brother) and cry and talk about my mum. I started to believe I was an orphan, disadvantaged, any challenge I would face would make me think, yeah, it’s because you’re an orphan. If your parents were here, things would be different. How wrong! There was so much good going on, I had a much better life than most children with both parents had, but I didn’t see it. God placed me in two beautiful families. One with my Aunt, Peace, and another with Atwooki my uncle of Entebbe as I love to call him He sent so many other people to support and love us. But that was clouded in self pity, some bitterness, the victim and orphan mentality, so I didn’t appreciate it. Somehow I didn’t fully fit in anywhere, especially in family gatherings. I always saw myself as the girl they’re helping because she has no parents. I now realise that it wasn’t their fault, it was just the way I saw myself.

This orphan mentality is one of the most crippling things in life; you miss out on opportunities, you don’t take responsibility because you feel everyone should do things for you. It’s taken lots of renewing my mind in God’s word, and I still have to keep pushing back some reflexes of this. Since I am getting married soon, I’ve had many opportunities to go back to that same thinking. For some reason, during weddings and funerals is when all the family issues come up. One Uncle told me, “you know Lilian, you’ve forgotten you’re an orphan. You need to fight for yourself.” A while back, that would have devastated me, not this time. I had so much peace and a surety that he was so wrong. I AM NOT AN ORPHAN. I have a Father who loves me to bits. God is my Father. He says that about Himself in Psalms 68

A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, Is God in His holy habitation. God sets the solitary in families; He brings out those bound into prosperity, but the rebellious dwell in a dry land.

David also says in Psalms 27:10 that “when my father and mother forsake me, then the LORD will take care of me. I’ve had to remind myself that I am an adopted child of God, I am loved, I am a co-heir with my Lord Jesus,  we all are anyway if we are believers, but it means a lot for me.

God’s word is a healer. As I’ve been healed of wounds, I didn’t even know were there. I’ve experienced a genuine love that God has for me. There’s so much more I need a revelation of about God as my Father and the love He has for me. I feel I have not even started, His love is beyond comprehension, but I am in a much better place than I was. If this is something you’re struggling with, God, with His arms wide open, is giving you an invitation to know Him as a Father, to know His love. To me, this is the most crucial revelation you can ever have. All of this is available in His word.